I would first recommend that you look up the phrase “bad picker.” The way I\’ve heard it explained by a therapist is that all people have different “attachment styles.” That would also be a good term to look up. It all seems to boil down to emotional and social dysfunctions that we develop during childhood. This is hard to undo for two main reasons:

1. Our bad pickers are ingrained from an early age. Poor boundaries are a major part of this.
2. People with emotional and social issues often don\’t want to seek therapy. This is for a variety of reasons. The more their friends tell them to change, etc., the more stubborn they may become.

Sometimes, when someone is finally a miserable, broken mess, and have nowhere to turn, they\’ll get therapy, start to uncover their issues, and develop better emotional intelligence so that they are drawn to better romantic partners and stop sabotaging healthy relationships.